Metta – Loving-kindness

 

It hit me all at once. A domino effect of emotions flowing through my entire system. I can feel the process of death happening within. Metaphysically speaking of course. The Self I knew and was attached to was dying. A rebirth was taking place. Partially by a Universal force and partially by my own awareness. 

Prior to my trip to Tulum, my mind and body felt off. Once I returned I got really ill. An illness that lasted a month! In and out of the hospital. With no answers. Just test after test. (Currently, looking deeper into why there’s free fluid outside of where it should be in my pelvic area). 

In the midst of feeling ill, I had to pack and leave my sacred space. My sanctuary. My home. Packing and leaving took a toll on me. More than I realized it would. All I kept thinking about was all I could not control. Wishing I was better. Wishing I was still “home”. Wishing I can sleep well. Wishing, Wishing, wishing. This created so much struggle within. Soon I realized that home truly and literally is where the heart lives. But, I can’t lie, I’m going to miss shooting my videos in that amazing foyer! IJS…Lol!

Self-acceptance ||

The greatest gift I gave myself during this time was the space to love myself exactly where I was. In my suffering. I accepted myself right in the middle of my pain. Purging when I needed to and giving so much love to my heart. I meditated deeper. Practiced Qi Gong. Exercised a little. Smiled. And, most importantly, I appreciated every moment the Creator gifted me with. 

One of the mediation practices that helped me (and is still helping me) was Metta Meditation (also known as Metta Bhavana).

Metta means love (in a non-romantic way). It also means benevolence, good will, friendliness and kindness. Hence, loving-kindness. Metta derives from the Pali word friend. Bhavana usually mean meditation, cultivation, or development. I will explain more about Metta Bhavana in a later post. 

Here’s a simple Metta mantra I would mindfully send to myself:

May I be filled with loving-kindness.

May I be well in mind and body.

May I be free from all internal and external harm.

May I be at ease and at peace.

I would repeat this to myself and then say these words mindfully towards a loved one, someone who hurt me, a stranger and the Earth.

Thank you for reading. May you be well in mind and body. Filled with loving-kindness, at ease, peaceful and free from all internal and external harm.

Asé

Are We All Just Victims Of Circumstance?

Is there really a such a thing as coincidence? Or is everything on earth a “chain reaction”?  Does every thought, choice and action determine our fate and guide us in the path we are currently on?  Or are we all just victims of circumstance?  I realize that there may be no concrete answer, however, I do know that the choices I have made thus far have led me back to doors I never thought would open again.

As 2015 approached, I sat in front of my computer determined to write down my New Year resolutions.  All thirty-eight of them (I know it sounds crazy, but you would be surprised how much room there is for improvement in all of our lives)!  However, towards the end of January, something inside of me told me to dig deeper.  After some deep meditative thought, leading to a conversation with myself, I concluded that I wanted more than what my eyes could see.  I was too caught up in this pattern of wanting materialistic things or living conditions in hopes for them to bring me happiness.  Then I realized that this entire time I was in search to find relative happiness.  You know, “if I get a raise, I’ll be happy”, or “if I find a new job, I’ll be happy”, or “If I buy a car, I’ll be happy…”  What happens when we get the material things we ask for?  Are we really fulfilled?  What happens when we do not receive all that we asked for?  Can we still find happiness in our current state?  Can we accept that which we cannot change?

When we feel like we need physical things to compensate for our lack of happiness, we are asking for relative happiness aka temporary happiness.  For so many years I have lived on relative happiness.  Now I’m beginning to ask myself, “What does my soul want?  How can I have absolute happiness?

So now I’m in search to figure out what my soul really wants.  I’ve begun asking the Universe for life conditions: To be centered with the Spirit, to commit to value, to serve a purpose, to love, to express, and to create.  I started focusing on these conditions, trying to open my third eye and become aware and confident in my path.  Already it seems that doors have begun to open for me — the same doors that were sealed for years.  I am now even more determined to work on myself, deepen my spiritual practices and feed my soul.  It has led me to work on my craft again and to take care of my body again, along with my mind.  I’m reading more and feeding my soul with positive, optimistic, encouraging words and motivating affirmations (some of which I will definitely sharing with you!).  I feel that I am preparing myself to seize every opportunity that could potentially come my way.

On Saturday February 21^st 2015, I went to an SGI-Nichiren Buddhist meeting in Harlem, NY.  What started out as me just trying to be supportive for my Dad (he was leading a presentation) turned out to be a form of enlightenment for me!  The main topic of discussion was their theme for 2015: Dynamic Development.  When you research the meaning of the word “dynamic” you will come across amazing words such as lively, active, self-motivated, vigorous, force.  All of these things stimulate change and deal with motion.  The steps that were outlined to live out this theme were to not be afraid to change yourself, never give up, and advance with joy.  I realized, during that meeting, that I was already implementing these steps into my life so it just really cemented everything for me.  This is what makes the Universe so incredible!  It is as if this meeting was purposely orchestrated for me.  I am super excited and now I am extra inspired!  I’m going to continue to take the steps and put forth the effort to live an abundant life with absolute happiness.  I don’t know if it was simply coincidental or if somehow my actions (and resulting chain-reactions) led me to that meeting.  When you look at both angles it’s really hard to gage and lean in either direction with absolute certainty.  I don’t know if I really need the answer, though.  I just know that I’m at the right place at the right time in my life, and I think that matters more.  Namaste.

With love,
DS