Destined

Was it fate? I feel as if I was destined to share time and space with an amazing group of talented individuals. What a magnificent gift the universe presented me with this past weekend! Blissfulness and peace combined in what was a bountiful spiritual experience.  August 8, 2015: The addition to the archives of my soul’s greatest memories.

I always wanted to model, yet I gave up years ago after facing many closed doors. Clearly, I was not built tough or strong enough to deal with the “no’s.” Not really obsessed with the idea, but excited about the thought, I decided to submit my photos to an artist, by the name of Young Paris, after seeing his “model search” post on Facebook.  Believe me, I was already mentally prepared for the “no.” However, I never thought about being unprepared for the “yes”.

When I received the message, “are you available on August 8th?”, I had to read it twice before I became ecstatic!  “Yes. I’m available!” I shouted. I realized, in that split second that no one could hear me.  Then all of the negative thoughts commenced and began doing circles in my mental.  They ranged from: Am I good enough? Was this a mistake? Suppose I mess up and waste his time? Talk about self-inflicted mental abuse!  It took me a while before I responded. I just was really not prepared for the “yes”. Subsequently, I remembered why I even started this blog – to encourage, to motivate, and to remind other over-thinking individuals (like myself) to let go and let God and just live!  After that self-reminder of my new life anthem, I responded to his request. It was not until the day of the video shoot that I realized that this experience will be more than just playing a role.  I realized that, on that day, the universe was going to bless me with a spiritual reward: not necessarily tangible, but definitely attainable.

Surrounded by God’s work, listening to nature’s language and working with a talented cast had me in awe. I found it so beautiful to witness Young Paris involving his family into his vision. Being around an artist, a musician and creative director, dancers, a videographer, designers, and make-up artists, had my creative juices flowing! I wanted to sketch, dance, practice yoga and meditate.  The feeling was so overwhelming.  There were sporadic moments where I spoke to God.  I expressed my gratitude for being present in that very moment. When the shoot was over, sage was lit and thanks were given to the Highest Power. We headed to Young Paris’ mother’s house. His mother cooked an amazing dinner and the cast was entertained by Young Paris and his family. They commenced to play the African drums. *Silent break*. This was when my emotions took over. I started to tear as I heard each sound from the drums. Each beat matched the rhythm of my heart and the sound of home that was taken from my ancestors.

It was at that very moment, whilst listening to the beat of my culture, I realized that I was destined to be there! My path led me there! The purpose of the shoot was not for me to realize my dream of being a model. The purpose of the shoot was to become richer from God’s natural resources, to connect with nature and other beautiful souls. I knew that no matter what, I would definitely take something from this experience.

History begins with yesterday and it is up to me to make sure that I incorporated what I know about my Caribbean culture and recreate my Afro-Caribbean culture.  My future family will remain grounded and will be knowledgeable about their culture. I will provide them with a platform to be creative and expressive.

As they were kidnapped and brought to the Americas, my ancestors were told not to sing their songs or beat their drums. They were programmed to believe that everything about their culture, appearance, and language was dreadful, unattractive, and uncanny. They were stripped of it all and forced to forget everything about their history. Fortunately, I live in a time where we are proclaiming our song and beating our drums again! I will recreate the culture that was stripped from me and study the history that was hidden from me. I will sing my song and move to rhythm of the drums.  And our history – African history – this planet’s deep history will thrive!

So it is. Ase.

Are We All Just Victims Of Circumstance?

Is there really a such a thing as coincidence? Or is everything on earth a “chain reaction”?  Does every thought, choice and action determine our fate and guide us in the path we are currently on?  Or are we all just victims of circumstance?  I realize that there may be no concrete answer, however, I do know that the choices I have made thus far have led me back to doors I never thought would open again.

As 2015 approached, I sat in front of my computer determined to write down my New Year resolutions.  All thirty-eight of them (I know it sounds crazy, but you would be surprised how much room there is for improvement in all of our lives)!  However, towards the end of January, something inside of me told me to dig deeper.  After some deep meditative thought, leading to a conversation with myself, I concluded that I wanted more than what my eyes could see.  I was too caught up in this pattern of wanting materialistic things or living conditions in hopes for them to bring me happiness.  Then I realized that this entire time I was in search to find relative happiness.  You know, “if I get a raise, I’ll be happy”, or “if I find a new job, I’ll be happy”, or “If I buy a car, I’ll be happy…”  What happens when we get the material things we ask for?  Are we really fulfilled?  What happens when we do not receive all that we asked for?  Can we still find happiness in our current state?  Can we accept that which we cannot change?

When we feel like we need physical things to compensate for our lack of happiness, we are asking for relative happiness aka temporary happiness.  For so many years I have lived on relative happiness.  Now I’m beginning to ask myself, “What does my soul want?  How can I have absolute happiness?

So now I’m in search to figure out what my soul really wants.  I’ve begun asking the Universe for life conditions: To be centered with the Spirit, to commit to value, to serve a purpose, to love, to express, and to create.  I started focusing on these conditions, trying to open my third eye and become aware and confident in my path.  Already it seems that doors have begun to open for me — the same doors that were sealed for years.  I am now even more determined to work on myself, deepen my spiritual practices and feed my soul.  It has led me to work on my craft again and to take care of my body again, along with my mind.  I’m reading more and feeding my soul with positive, optimistic, encouraging words and motivating affirmations (some of which I will definitely sharing with you!).  I feel that I am preparing myself to seize every opportunity that could potentially come my way.

On Saturday February 21^st 2015, I went to an SGI-Nichiren Buddhist meeting in Harlem, NY.  What started out as me just trying to be supportive for my Dad (he was leading a presentation) turned out to be a form of enlightenment for me!  The main topic of discussion was their theme for 2015: Dynamic Development.  When you research the meaning of the word “dynamic” you will come across amazing words such as lively, active, self-motivated, vigorous, force.  All of these things stimulate change and deal with motion.  The steps that were outlined to live out this theme were to not be afraid to change yourself, never give up, and advance with joy.  I realized, during that meeting, that I was already implementing these steps into my life so it just really cemented everything for me.  This is what makes the Universe so incredible!  It is as if this meeting was purposely orchestrated for me.  I am super excited and now I am extra inspired!  I’m going to continue to take the steps and put forth the effort to live an abundant life with absolute happiness.  I don’t know if it was simply coincidental or if somehow my actions (and resulting chain-reactions) led me to that meeting.  When you look at both angles it’s really hard to gage and lean in either direction with absolute certainty.  I don’t know if I really need the answer, though.  I just know that I’m at the right place at the right time in my life, and I think that matters more.  Namaste.

With love,
DS