What a blessing! I turned 31 yesterday! I appreciate the gift of life. My life. And, what a journey it has been thus far. When I was little, I remember believing that my 16th birthday would be a huge deal (I was “becoming a young woman”- my mom would say). My 18th birthday was all about my adventure in entering a new world which was college. My 21st birthday was the beginning of the “turn up” journey and my 30th birthday would be the beginning of a new chapter. A chapter in what I would like to title as “Adulting”. This year, for my 31st birthday, I wanted to reflect on my life. I realized that I have been obsessed with finding happiness, love, and being the best spirit I can be while living in my body. I appreciate all facets of my journey, those I can share it with and Mother Earth for providing me a place to live: physically and spiritually. In honor of my 31st birthday, and as a gift to myself, I wanted to write down 31 lessons/advice that I will take with me during this new chapter and use them as a life road map.
- Live unapologetically. It’s okay to love yourself and put yourself first. Spending your whole life as a people pleaser and sacrificing your happiness can be detrimental to your soul. This is not to say sacrificing is bad. However, find a balance to avoid neglecting your own happiness.
- Your mind is a powerful tool that you actually have the power to control. Depending on what you feed your mind, it will create your subconscious belief which, in turn, will shape your reality. What will you feed your mind?
- It’s okay to give your mind a break. Overthinking can cause you to drive yourself insane! Set time aside a day to sit in silence. Relax the mind and reenergize your soul.
- We are all given gifts. Find out what it is and nurture it.
- Time-management is a great skill. Having discipline in this area can not only help you accomplish your goals, but it also helps balance your professional and personal life.
- Before thinking about being in a relationship with someone else, make sure to be in a relationship with yourself first. Love yourself. Be comfortable with being alone and learn how to take care of yourself. There are three levels of wisdom in relationships with yourself and others: dependence, independence, and interdependence. Dependence is the beginning or lower stage. This is where you depend on your parents/ guardians or other people to nurture you. You depend on others before deciding anything for yourself. Independence is where you learn how to take care of yourself. Getting things you need to get done without relying on anyone else. This is the stage where you can “handle yours”. Interdependence is where you change the “I can” to “we can”. This is where both individuals can come together, build together, and share their happiness together.
- “I’m a spiritual being with a dope physical presence and I take care of both to maintain balance in my life” – Dominique Sade. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. It’s important to take care of the soul and it is equally important to take care of your soul’s home: the body. Make time to workout, meditate, take naps, be creative, connect, etc.
- “It is not the end of the world until it is actually the end of the world.” – Dominique Sade. Think about how many times you thought you were in the worst position in your life and got through it. We will continue to experience the pendulum of life and we will continue to GROW through life. That is, if you choose to grow. Through adversity, continue to move forward. If you fall, “fall forward” as Denzel Washington once stated.
- Do what makes you happy. Ignite the passion within. Vibrate higher and make sure to shine bright.
- “I know procrastination doesn’t give a damn about me. So why am I still in a relationship with it?” – Dominique Sade. Procrastination leads to anxiety and stress. Just avoid it.
- Don’t be afraid of change. Change is inevitable. Embrace it and be open to it.
- Dream BIG. Without dreams we are just walking zombies. Your dream leads to a goal. A goal leads to a plan and executing that plan shapes your future.
- Time, financial freedom, and flexibility are the true luxuries of life. Work on a plan to be financially free, invest in your time so you can be flexible with life.
- Don’t let money control you. Money comes and goes and comes again. What doesn’t come back is time. Once it’s gone, it’s gone forever. Value time not money.
- Believe in yourself. Be your biggest cheerleader. Self-doubt only causes anxiety and dis-ease to your soul and body.
- Put in EFFORT in all that you do. Effort cannot be judged by anyone outside of you. Effort is between you and you. When you are not putting in effort and doing your best, you are only disappointing yourself and wasting time. Time, again, is what you cannot get back. Use your time wisely.
- Don’t ignore the small steps. So often big goals are set which can seem overwhelming. Dissect your big goals into smaller goals and accomplish them one by one. You will be surprised on how much you get done and how you are distracting the mind from overthinking.
- Fear is created from the uncertainness about the unknown. Remember to be open. Don’t spend time thinking about the worst possible outcome. Instead, enter the unknown with faith. Trust your journey.
- It is easier to play it safe. It’s also easy to live a routine and convenient life. However, it might not be what the soul wants. Spirit may have a calling for you and your soul vibrates on its command. It needs your body to help it reach its full potential. Listen to your inner voice. Trust your intuition. It’s all part of growth and there’s no growth in comfortability.
- It’s okay to say no to things you do not want to do and to other people’s opinion (especially opinions you did not ask for). Kindly say, “no thank you”. You do not need to explain yourself to anyone.
- “The Possibilities of what you can be will never end. So just begin” – Alex Isley. Start with what you have. Sometimes waiting for the “perfect” time can be rooted in fear. Or, that “perfect” time may never come. Believe and start.
- Declutter your mind and environment. Get rid of items and relationships that no longer serves you.
- Let go of bad habits. Create new and positive habits and experience new results.
- Surround yourself with dope, creative and motivating souls.
- Making self-love and self-care a priority will not only benefit you but also others around you.
- Be kind to others and Mother Earth. Forgive others, say I love you, and help your community.
- Be Present and be patient.
- Tap into your creative side. Master your creativity. Express yourself through the arts. Do it for youself without thinking about how much money you can make. Just create from the soul.
- Outside labels do not define you. Know who you are. Not your name or your label but who you are as a spiritual being. “When you’re feeling overwhelm take some time to love yourself” – Janet Jackson. Remember to breath. Self-reflect, write in your journal, meditate and return to neutral.
- Spend time with friends and family. Laugh with them and be present with them.
- Wake up every day knowing that the sun is up. Life is precious and the best gift given by the Creator. Connect with the Source, find your balance, vibrate higher and continue to be dope!
This list is tailored to my life however, I hope it can help you with your life. Stay blessed and continue to be the beautiful soul you all are. Love you all and happy Earth strong to me!
Love + Light